It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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