Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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