just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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