You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
