Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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