well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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