I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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