Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize