There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
