Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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