he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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