make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
