Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
