I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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