Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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