so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
last night I used snow as a chaser
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
