I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
