My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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