I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
