Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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