So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
