guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
