I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
