just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
