ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
