i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
