Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
