Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
