the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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