oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
