remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize