you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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