Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize