I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
