Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My vagina is officially offended.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize