Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
