So drunk its hurt
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
