You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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