Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My life is pants optional.
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