Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Randomize
