i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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