its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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