All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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