you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
