she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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