Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
