Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
