Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
So vagazzling was a success
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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