so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
