When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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