im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
