Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
it's like iHOP with fire
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
