Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
