I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
