I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
