around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
