i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
