the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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