I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
