Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
