wrigley field is MILF paradise
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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